There are days that being called "Mom" is the easiest title I have ever earned. And, then there are the days that being called Mom is the hardest earned title I have ever earned and not so sure I deserve. Today, I am not so sure how I earned the title or that God gave me this title and don't deserve it. My kids are my whole world. How did God know that I needed them probably more than they needed me? But, yet, He knew who I needed in my world. He knew that I needed a wonderful hubby...and showed me the ONE!!! And, then God placed Mackenzie in my heart (and womb) and ultimately in my arms!! And, then He gave me Carson! And, then William! What a story, right?
I have caught myself getting so frustrated and begging for some mommy time. I called one of my best friends today to bitch and moan (pardon my language, but it is what I was doing)! I am done with 7 year old eye rolls, 3 1/2 year old deafness (or perception of deafness when I am talking), cooking, cleaning, demanding chores be finished, wiping bottoms, and the list goes on and on and on and on.
And, then I remember where I was a year ago. William had just had his first open heart surgery and hope was high. We were in a whole new world...the one of parents who have a child with a critical illness. We were also living in Ronnie's House and not able to see our other kiddos...as they had Hand-Foot-Mouth disease 1 week before surgery. Man, what a year it has been. Some of my greatest days ever have taken place in the last year. I saw my baby be whisked away in 2 different ambulances--1 time a few mere hours after he was born. I saw my oldest finish Kindergarten, loose a tooth (and then another 4), start/finish first grade, and turn 7...hence, the eye rolling 7 year old. I saw my little man become a big brother, start preschool, go to the dentist for the first time. I have also held my babies up when I was so incredibly weak and unable to do much more than just hug them. I have learned to relish my name Mom...what a blessing God gave me. Even on my hardest of days (and there have been plenty of those) I can smile knowing that Mom is a name I was meant to have forever. And, I also realized that God gives the perfect kiddos to the perfect parents. Mackenzie, Carson, and William are my perfect babies....2 here on Earth with me and 1 in Heaven following me everywhere I go.
Almost exactly 1 year ago..his first surgery was June 4, 2012
All 3 babies under one roof...a crazy 2 weeks!!
But, the greatest 2 weeks of William's short time here on Earth.
Back in CMH...July 2012
My favorite picture of all 3 babies...2 cardiac caths, 2 open heart surgeries, 4 months in a hospital. And, Mackenzie and Carson had such complete love and devotion for William.
I have seen my job as a mommy change in so many ways. I went from a milk cow to a grieving, heartbroken mom to a cuddler who allows her babies in her bed (and, this HARDLY ever happened prior to 1 year ago) to a soccer mom to a T-ball coach to a GRUMP today!!!
What a blessing to have the title Mommy!! I have learned in the past year that my life as a mom is kind of like my life as a Christian...some days are easy and some not so much. But, God is guiding me in both walks. And, this might make it a tad easier to be a good Mommy and Christian.
No comments:
Post a Comment