Pride.....

I have been pondering this post for a long time....well, long, in the sense of the past 4 1/2 months LONG! So, if it rambles, I am sorry. I just hope it humbles many! And, I hope we all grow in the process.

Pride: as defined by Good Ole Mr. Webster

: the quality or state of being proud

: proud or disdainful behavior or treatment : disdain

: a source of pride : the best in a group or class

: a company of lions

: a showy or impressive group <a pride of dancers>

Proud: as defined by the same Mr. Webster
: feeling or showing pride:
: marked by stateliness : magnificent

: giving reason for pride : gloriousvigorous, spirited <a proud steed>

chiefly British: raised above a surrounding area <a proud design on a stamp>

Just wanted a refresher on what the differences in the two words mean. One is a noun and one is an adjective. Those of you who know my mother know how proud she would be of the English review on my blog. But, my point of reviewing these words to refresh in our own minds that we use adjectives to describe nouns. Pride in itself is a noun and Proud in itself is an adjective. So, what does this have to do with the price of rice in China?

 

Well, I have found myself as well as that of my family struggling with our own pride during this past year. 2012 has not been our best one yet...definitely one for the record books but not the best for sure. Not knowing what tomorrow brings for your family makes one realize that there is no time to be too prideful or proud. Instead, BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE AND PRIDEFUL OF WHAT YOU HAVE TO OFFER!!

Chris and I never allow pride to come between us...there are times that we are too proud to admit when one of us is wrong. But, we always confess that we were wrong (it just may take a while.) We have tried to instill this in our children as well. Sometimes, their pride gets in the way, but they still stand proud of who they are and what they stand for. (English teacher mother, not so happy with ending the sentence with for...but, can't reword it correctly!!)

When you are sick or have a sick child there is no time for PRIDE to get in your way. Never in my wildest dream would I have ever have envisioned what was in store for me and my family last January when I went into the hospital for 5 days---it was a minor setback that seemed so major at the time. But, like so many things in life, I look back and see how minor my own feeding tube was. When a loved one is sick, you take free dinners, a clean house, laundry done, car rides to and fro, cash from strangers, government assistance for your children, and the list goes on and on.

Recently, I posted a comment on my Facebook account about standing in line at the grocery store and judging those in front of you as they use their WIC checks. It was me that was judged. WIC is a government program to help provide healthy foods for women, infants, and children under the age of 5. And, as you know, I am a woman, I have an infant, and I have a child under the age of 5. I called my local health department to find out about renting a breastpump because mine was dying a slow death. Come on, those things were meant to be supplements to breastfeeding not a 24/7 device. And, low and behold, I find out that I qualify for WIC based on the fact that I cannot work and our income without my job qualifies us. I did not ever want to use and abuse any system, but I knew that Carson and William shouldn't suffer for my pride. So, I agreed to participate. Going to the appointment was no big deal except for the fighting 3 and 6 year old that accompanied me.

But, using the checks at Wal-Mart was and continues to be AWFUL. Every time I go, someone says a sarcastic comment or stares at me in the process. I have always been PROUD to say that I have an open mind and try to limit my judgements....and my recent experiences will reinforce this. I am PROUD of how I have handled the comments or stares. My self-pride has prevented me from letting loose on the woman judging me or the clerk with the smart mouth. I am not abusing a system. It was created for families like mine. Yes, there are those that abuse but more that use it correctly. I have kept my cool when my inner self wanted to scream. I wanted to unleash my 2012 story and that of my precious baby boy who remains in ICU just to make the woman crawl in a hole. But, I am too PROUD to stoop to her level.

So, please keep my family in mind when you have it in your head that you are better than someone else....don't be too PRIDEFUL or PROUD of who you are that it gets in the way of helping another or more importantly, helping your family and yourself!! I have learned to put all pride aside and accept that I need all the help I can get to make it another day!!!