Darkest of Days

Not exactly sure how this blog should go or be written.  But, I am trying to write it to the best of my ability despite the deep sadness that may permeate through my writings.

My last photo of our boy taken on September 21, 2012. Will figured out how to stick his tongue out.  We sent this pic to Daddy!

 

On Saturday, September 22, 2012 at 1832pm (yes, i think of time in a military style, too many days spent in the medical field), our world came crashing down.  Our sweet baby, William, checked into the pearly gates of Heaven.  St. Peter opened the gates as he saw William coming his way.  And, in my heart of hearts, I know that our family that has passed was waiting with open arms.  They were all anxious to rock my baby and tell him that they would take care of him until the day comes that he gets to wait at the Pearly Gates for his mommy and daddy to come Home.

William fought the fight of all fights in 4 1/2 short months.  Every day was a struggle to breathe, yet he never let us know how much pain/suffering he endured.  He was our precious third baby, perfect in every way.  Bright blue eyes, red-hair (with the temper, too!), long fingers and toes, small petite beautiful mouth, two small teeth (just breaking through), a perfect smile, a zipper on his chest, a tiny hiny (as his nurse Laurie called it).  He was our perfect Skinny Mini.  And, for all of these features, we are forever grateful to our God for sharing his Prince William with us.  Thank you God for William.  We will always wonder why his time with us was so short, but we know that You have great plans for your child.  Give our baby boy love daily just as we did everyday in the last 4 1/2 months.  There was not a day that either his mom or dad did not spend some time with him.  And, God, please watch over his big brother and sister as they grieve for their lost time with William.

Will and Monkey in deep conversation on September 20, 2012.

Since this life changing moment in time, when our world stood still, so many things have been done.  The number of decisions that must be made immediately following a death is beyond reason.  And, the time frame in which it all must be done is unbelievable.  I could list all of the behind the scene things that a grieving family must do to prepare for the saddest of days, but the list seems to be ever changing in importance and order.  But, we are making it.  By the Grace of our Gracious and Loving Father, our family, and our friends we are surviving.  Minute by Minute, Hour by Hour, which then turns to Day by Day.

When a family member or loved one passes away, sorry doesn't seem to cut it.  But, let me tell you all that sorry is good enough.  There are no appropriate words when a baby dies too soon.  But, knowing that we as parents are not alone is healing.  Having people stop by, bring food, phone,write letters or messages, send text messages, hug, etc. has made each day just a smidge better.  And, the next few days are going to be the hardest yet.  So, say a prayer for our grieving family, call us, write a letter, send a text, etc in the coming days and weeks.  The Cunninghams are going to need it.

A Family of Five!!!