Dreams!!!

There are no perfect words to say to a parent who has lost a child....it just isn't the natural order of life.  So, words may seem awkward.  But, they mean everything to that family going through tragedy.  A simple "I am sorry" is good enough.  Just say something. 

Before William's passing, I would have struggled to say the "right" thing.  But, I now know that there is no "right" thing.  It isn't fair.  But, we were never guaranteed fairness.  William's story has taught us so much about fairness.  My baby never got to enjoy our home (2 weeks was fabulous but not long enough) yet he never cared.  His life was just as it should be in his mind....why do we as adults struggle with needing more than we are given?  William was dealt a bad hand but never a day passed that it bothered him.  He may not have know any different.  We know how things should go/be, and we are all guilty of throwing fits/tantrums when we don't get our way.  Our way is not the only way!!!

When you envision your future and your future family.....
HUSBAND/WIFE.....check
Career.....check
1st child..... MACKENZIE RENEE.......check
House of my dreams....that we remodeled......check
2nd child.....CARSON SCOTT.......check
3rd child......WILLIAM HOWARD.....check

Chris and I are blessed to be the parents of 3 amazing children. Mackenzie, our first born, is a sweet, methodical girl with a CRAZY passion for horses. Carson, our second born, has the most contagious smile and belly laugh. And, William, our third born and precious angel, showed more strength in 4 1/2 short months and brought more people together as a community and family than imaginable. Because of William, this blog has had 15,000+ page views. AMAZING!!

But, what happens when those dreams vary?  We had 3 beautiful children here on earth, but now we have 2 beautiful children on earth and 1 baby watching from Heaven.  How do you pick up the pieces and move on?  Well, moving on is not in my plans.  I am not going to forget Will's legacy--we are moving a different direction but not ON!  We have heard from many parents who have suffered the tragic death of a child, and the consensus is that you never move on just adapt and develop new dreams and goals.  Our thinking caps are on....but, the dreams and goals are still days/weeks/years away. 

An angel named William is waiting to tell his mommy and daddy what's next on our agenda.  Godspeed, Little Man, Sweet Dreams!  And, I look forward to hearing what you have in store for mommy, daddy, sissy, and bubby!  We love you to the moon and back!!