Dear William....

Disclaimer:
This is likely going to make you cry.  But, remember that part of the blogging process is to be therapeutic.  We live the Crazy Life of the Cunninghams and need to vent/reveal our thoughts and feelings at times.

Dear William,
This is one of the hardest letters I have ever written.  I see you sleeping so peacefully in the bed across the room from me, yet my heart breaks for you.  I have never seen such strength in such a small package.  You are the rock that keeps us going.  Seeing you fight so hard to breathe day in and day out makes me persevere.  I am so proud to be your mommy!

From the day you were born, you have shown us how you beat to your own drum.  Please, NEVER (Never, Ever as Carson would say) forget that you have always been an individual.  And, you will do things on your time and own accord.  We love this about you.  You stump the doctors daily!  Remember, throughout life, that you have stumped and puzzled the most brilliant minds, so no one can hold you back!  You are just that AMAZING!  We have lived in the hospital for 7 out of your precious 9 weeks of life...and, yet you continue to be a calm, mellow baby.  My hope for you is that this calmness will continue throughout your life.  Things may come and go, but your calm demeanor will take you far.  You have been through so many ups and downs and continue to be such a sweet baby. 

Next week, you will have yet another procedure.  Each procedure breaks our hearts.  No baby should have to go through open heart surgery once, let alone twice.  No baby should have to endure multiple cardiac caths, yet you will have another one next week.  And, no baby should live at the hospital.  But, you are.  We are so thankful for such an amazing hospital so close to home.  But, it is not home.  This road has a destination, we promise.  We are waiting in the hospital for you to be the strongest you can before we can proceed with your next surgery.

There have been times in the last 9 weeks that you have struggled and times you have soared!  These times will continue throughout life.  We just hope and pray that your struggles will be done in your first months of life....you have definitely earned a break in the future!!  Remember, that your heart was broken but not your spirit.  Please, continue to have the feisty red-headed spirit.  Just, please, remember to breathe in and out (and, yes, we have to sometimes remind you to breathe).  No holding your breath when struggles come up.....you are a tough cookie who can do anything.  Because, as we have said before, "Heart surgery, that was EASY!"  And, if heart surgery was EASY...so will life!!!

We love you and your siblings more than anything else in this world.  And, we cannot wait for you to be HOME with us.  But, we will be by your side everyday until you come HOME!

Love,

Mommy (and Daddy, too!)